It is the most perfect fiction I have seen in my life.
A Pants In Time
On a shiny and ridiculous morning, Devon sat in space. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His ribcage ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Physics to love someone with a leaden skull?
Harshly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an explosive duck-like chocobo, all on a summer's day. I wish my Physics would irradiate me, in his own nerdy way..."
"Do you?" Physics sat down beside Devon and put his hand on Devon's ulna. "I think that could be arranged."
Devon gasped petulantly. "But what about my leaden skull?"
"I like it," Physics said stickily. "I think it's dramatic."
They came together and their kiss was like radioactive fallout falling gently from the sky, spreading the land with silent, insinuating poison.
"I love you," Devon said snarkily.
"I love you too," Physics replied and irradiated him.
They bought a Dark Lord, moved in together, and lived radioactively ever after.